Welcome, dear fans, to another episode of Ask a Monkeyologist™ With me: Doctor Kauff von Diefendorf~ I answer ALL your QUESTIONS! Let’s see… Question #1 comes from Hayden, this “Gustav” character. Person. Monkey on wheels! Has retired from Monkeyology. Okay?~ He is no longer monkeyology-ing. He is old and senile. So please stop sending questions to that… to that… Lump of… creature that is Gustav von Schneid- KAUUUUUUUUFF! Gustav…? KAUUUUUUUUUUUUUFF! GUSTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAV! I finally found you! I hacked my way through TIME and SPACE and UNIVERSES! Hinein! And I found you here! Monkeyology-ing! Well, of course I am Monkeyology-ing! B-but, what do you mean universes?! Didn’t you retire? Ah, but you see, I’ve come from a universe where Kauff retired! So I had no arch-nemesis Monkeyologist to annoy anymore. But I am still here! And weren’t you supposed to be at home, drinking yourself to death, you sad potato?! Yes! That is what YOU did in MY universe! Look! I took pictures! This is not funny! Hi hi hi- AHEM! You’re right, it isn’t funny. That’s why I’m here. GO BACK! Nein. I am here to stay. But, wait! You look different. You look younger and your wig looks a lot better! Yes! My… hair… is perfect! I took notes from Elvis Presley on how to be hip! Ah, taking notes from the dead. Same old Gustav! I’M NOT OOOOLD! Yes, you are! Crazy crocodile! BUMBLING BABOON! As I was saying, did my Monkeyologist senses pick up a question?~ No! No questions! Ah ah ah! Monkeyologist Code™! “When a monkeyologist is asked a question…” “…he must always EAT IT!” …What? What? You don’t have a Monkeyologist Code™ in this universe? In this universe we ANSWER the question! OH! Oh… Well I can adapt to this, yes… I am not sending you any questions! No matter! Is a good thing that I got the same questions from my universe, so… Well, seeing as I’m a new Gustav from an alternate universe, I must alert everybody that I do not play Xylophone. HOWEVER! I am decently good at violin! I mean, check this out… This is my violin over here. Yes, yes. Check this: It’s a work in progress. Well, I mean… But expect more violin entertainment in the future! That is horrible! It sounds like you’re stepping on ca- MMMMWORK IN PROGRESS! Next question. “Why did I put Season 3 where”? Wha- What?? Huh??? He is probably asking when will I release season 3 of Ask a Monkeyologist™. Well, go on, Gustav! Answer this one for us. I’m new to this universe, anyway! Ask Kauff. Yes, very mature… See what I have to put up with, Rorkiss Rorkiss? It’s obviously pronounced “Rorkas Rorkas”. It’s obviously “I am Gustav~ I don’t know anything~”. Just answer the question! Beh! …OR I’LL EAT IT! I’d pay to see that! Rorkaiss x2, my answer is… Coming Soon.
Next question. How about this one: That is not a question… But 10 points for trying! And it’s good to be back! Stop answering my questions! As I said, this is not a question. This is terrible! Absolutely terrible! I am ending this show! Was that all?! Oh, in my universe we have 20 minute episodes! I am really really not happy that you are back… Dear audience, what he means to say is: “Thank you for sending all these questions and sharing the answers with your friends!” Please send more questions in the comments down above, down below and all and everywhere. And, I, professor Gustav von Schneider… …will answer them… ALL! No, I am doctor Kauff von Diefendorf and *I* will answer all your questions not Gustaaaaav! KAUUUUUFF! GUSTAAAAAV! KAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUFF! GUSTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAV!