🐺 Breaking the 4th Dimension | Ask a Monkeyologist – Episode 01


Welcome, dear fans, to another episode of Ask a Monkeyologist™ With me: Doctor Kauff von Diefendorf~ I answer ALL your QUESTIONS! Let’s see… Question #1 comes from Hayden, this “Gustav” character. Person. Monkey on wheels! Has retired from Monkeyology. Okay?~ He is no longer monkeyology-ing. He is old and senile. So please stop sending questions to that… to that… Lump of… creature that is Gustav von Schneid- KAUUUUUUUUFF! Gustav…? KAUUUUUUUUUUUUUFF! GUSTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAV! I finally found you! I hacked my way through TIME and SPACE and UNIVERSES! Hinein! And I found you here! Monkeyology-ing! Well, of course I am Monkeyology-ing! B-but, what do you mean universes?! Didn’t you retire? Ah, but you see, I’ve come from a universe where Kauff retired! So I had no arch-nemesis Monkeyologist to annoy anymore. But I am still here! And weren’t you supposed to be at home, drinking yourself to death, you sad potato?! Yes! That is what YOU did in MY universe! Look! I took pictures! This is not funny! Hi hi hi- AHEM! You’re right, it isn’t funny. That’s why I’m here. GO BACK! Nein. I am here to stay. But, wait! You look different. You look younger and your wig looks a lot better! Yes! My… hair… is perfect! I took notes from Elvis Presley on how to be hip! Ah, taking notes from the dead. Same old Gustav! I’M NOT OOOOLD! Yes, you are! Crazy crocodile! BUMBLING BABOON! As I was saying, did my Monkeyologist senses pick up a question?~ No! No questions! Ah ah ah! Monkeyologist Code™! “When a monkeyologist is asked a question…” “…he must always EAT IT!” …What? What? You don’t have a Monkeyologist Code™ in this universe? In this universe we ANSWER the question! OH! Oh… Well I can adapt to this, yes… I am not sending you any questions! No matter! Is a good thing that I got the same questions from my universe, so… Well, seeing as I’m a new Gustav from an alternate universe, I must alert everybody that I do not play Xylophone. HOWEVER! I am decently good at violin! I mean, check this out… This is my violin over here. Yes, yes. Check this: It’s a work in progress. Well, I mean… But expect more violin entertainment in the future! That is horrible! It sounds like you’re stepping on ca- MMMMWORK IN PROGRESS! Next question. “Why did I put Season 3 where”? Wha- What?? Huh??? He is probably asking when will I release season 3 of Ask a Monkeyologist™. Well, go on, Gustav! Answer this one for us. I’m new to this universe, anyway! Ask Kauff. Yes, very mature… See what I have to put up with, Rorkiss Rorkiss? It’s obviously pronounced “Rorkas Rorkas”. It’s obviously “I am Gustav~ I don’t know anything~”. Just answer the question! Beh! …OR I’LL EAT IT! I’d pay to see that! Rorkaiss x2, my answer is… Coming Soon.
Next question. How about this one: That is not a question… But 10 points for trying! And it’s good to be back! Stop answering my questions! As I said, this is not a question. This is terrible! Absolutely terrible! I am ending this show! Was that all?! Oh, in my universe we have 20 minute episodes! I am really really not happy that you are back… Dear audience, what he means to say is: “Thank you for sending all these questions and sharing the answers with your friends!” Please send more questions in the comments down above, down below and all and everywhere. And, I, professor Gustav von Schneider… …will answer them… ALL! No, I am doctor Kauff von Diefendorf and *I* will answer all your questions not Gustaaaaav! KAUUUUUFF! GUSTAAAAAV! KAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUFF! GUSTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAV!

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Comments

  1. GUSTAAAV!! I'd never thought we'd see his wig around here again 😛

    Dear Kauff,

    If you are indeed a Monkeyologist, then where are the monkeys? I thought in your line of work you'd take monkeys into your home and raise them as you would your children.

  2. OMG Gustav is back in business! (And Kauff of course, too 😉 ) Glad to see you again 🙂

    Here's my question to both of you:

    Last Time, i dreamed about weird things. They were confusing me in my daily routine. Everytime when i had a moment of silence, i heared a Chicken…what can i do, to avoid this?

  3. Dear Herr Doktor Kauff von Diefendorf,

    first of all, would you kindly deliver Herr Professor Gustav von Schneider my most heartfelt welcomes to our dimension? I hope he does not overly struggle with the adjustment to this certainly strange and confusing new realm, and I wish him the best of luck in his future endeavours.
    Now then, I do have a question to the both of you – a question of severe importance, one that wars have been fought over, with no faction ever being able to claim supremacy. I have meditated on this question for many months, here in my private monestary in the depths of the jungle, with my pet monkeys gently massaging my feet to stimulate the bloodflow in my body, allowing my brain to work at peek capacity, yet I still have come to no conclusive answer. This is why I once again call upon your genius – you have helped me out of perilious situations in the past (cheers for that, by the way), and with the whole fresh perspective of dear Herr Professor Gustav von Schneider, I have high hopes that your brilliant minds combined can finally conclude this debate and bring peace to the warring nations.
    The question is – What's better, Team Fortress 2 or Overwatch?

  4. Okay, this isn't a question, I just wanted to welcome you and the doctor back to youtube. You wouldn't believe how giddy I got when I saw this in my subscriptions :3 Also, thumbs up to the new Gustav and the Dalek blueprint in his room.

  5. Dear Gustav, if Kauff died in your alternate Universe, why didn't you bring him back as a CGI double, like they did in Rogue One?

  6. Dear Doctors, this question is for both of you.
    If you had the option to choose a new name for yourself what name would it be? Also If you had the option to choose a new name for your Arch nemesis what would it be?

  7. First time watching you guys huge Fan of NASA man from SciManDans channel you guys are great you have great quality in your video and they are very funny i really hope you guys succeed on youtube you deserve it👍

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