2020 November Democratic Debate in Atlanta | The Daily Show


On a normal night,
the debates would be the only news anyone
would be talking about, but since Trump
became president, there has been no normal night. So today we’re
gonna be covering the debate and we’re gonna be covering the
blockbuster impeachment hearing that rocked Washington, D.C. So first up, let’s get into it. Tonight was
the fifth Democratic debate, and it took place
down in Atlanta, Georgia, at Tyler Perry Studios, where they film numerous movies
and TV shows. And I’ll be honest, I’m just
glad Joe Biden finally made it to the right soundstage,
because for a while today he was just wandering around
in the background -(laughter)
-of other movies, uh… It was really awkward.
Madea was like, “Give me one of those
famous massages while you here. I’m tight as hell, Joe Biden.” Now, at the last debate,
in October, they had 12 Democrats
crammed on stage. Yeah, it was so tight
people could barely move. But then Spirit Airlines was
like, “Hey, that’s our thing!” -(laughter)
-So this time… the Democrats scaled it
back down to an even ten. And the candidates were joined
by four moderators who, for the first time
this campaign season, were all women. Which, personally,
I didn’t even notice… -(cheering, applause)
-Yeah. It’s amazing, but I… I didn’t even notice,
because I don’t see color. -(laughter)
-Now… the major change, the major
change from the last debate is the rise
of Pete Buttigieg, right? Mayor of South Bend, Indiana, and the only adult
Michael Jackson would be into. -(laughter, groans)
-Over the past few weeks, he has surged
from the middle of the pack to take the lead
in Iowa and New Hampshire. So now, between Buttigieg,
Biden, Warren and Bernie, this has become a four-way race. And if you include Cory Booker,
it’s still a four-way race. -(laughter, groans)
-So… with Buttigieg rising
in the polls, tonight the moderators
asked him something a lot of people are wondering: Why should a teenage mayor
from South Bend, Indiana, become president
of the United States? Mayor Buttigieg, let’s talk about your record
as a candidate. Why should Democrats take
the risk of betting on you? In order to defeat
this president, we need somebody
who can go toe-to-toe, who actually comes
from the kinds of communities that he’s been appealing to. I don’t talk a big game
about helping the working class while helicoptering
between golf courses with my name on them. I don’t even golf.
As a matter of fact, I never thought I’d be
on a Forbes magazine list, but, uh, they did one
of all the candidates by wealth, and I’m literally the least
wealthy person on this stage. Yeah, Pete Buttigieg may be the
poorest person on that stage, but Bernie was like,
“Yes, but I look the poorest! -(laughter) -And that
should count for something!” You know, it’s actually funny
how running for president is the only time people brag about how much money
they don’t have. Right? It’s like they’re all
Bizarro rappers, you know? ♪ Started from the bottom,
never left ♪ ♪ Started from the bottom,
and my whole team ♪ ♪ Is in the exact same place
because there’s been ♪ ♪ No upward mobility
for the last 30, 40 years ♪ ♪ In this country. ♪ And I’m not gonna lie,
I’m not gonna lie. A lot of tonight’s debate sounded exactly like what we’ve
heard in the previous four. You know, Medicare for all
versus a public option. Pragmatism versus revolution. Joe Biden versus his own mouth. -(laughter)
-But… one new thing we did see tonight were some brand-new beefs, like Elizabeth Warren
versus Cory Booker on the wealth tax. You know, I have proposed
a two-cent wealth tax. That is a tax
for everybody who has more than $50 billion in assets. Your first $50 billion
is free and clear, but your $50 billionth
and first dollar, you got to pitch in two cents. I don’t agree
with the wealth tax the way that
Elizabeth Warren puts it. The top one-tenth of one percent that I want to see
pay two cents more, they’ll pay 3.2% in America. The tax the way we’re
putting it forward right now, the wealth tax, I’m sorry,
it’s cumbersome. It’s been tried
by other nations. Two-cent wealth tax,
and we can invest in an entire
generation’s future. We Democrats also have to talk about how to grow wealth
as well. When I stood in church recently and asked folks,
in a black church, how many people here want
to be entrepreneurs, half the church
raised their hands. Yeah, and one guy
in the back was like, “Nigga, what’s an entrepreneur?” -(laughter)
-It’s French for “businessman.” “Well, I don’t want to be
a French businessman! “I want to be
an American businessman! -It’s got a whole lot more
je ne sais quoi.” -(laughter) So there was Warren and Booker
arguing about wealth tax. Then there was a beef
that really came out of nowhere. Kamala Harris
versus Tulsi Gabbard. We have someone on this stage
who is attempting to be the Democratic nominee for
President of the United States who, during
the Obama administration, spent four years
full-time on Fox News, criticizing President Obama. …buddied up to Steve Bannon
to get a meeting with Donald Trump
in the Trump Tower. What Senator Harris is doing is unfortunately continuing
to traffic in lies and smears and innuendoes,
because she cannot challenge the substance of the argument
that I’m making. People, please, stop fighting. It’s not worth it. Neither of you
are gonna be president. What are you doing? That was the most
intense argument I’ve seen in Atlanta
that didn’t involve NeNe. That was really intense. I also love how they’re doing it
with smiles on their faces. (chuckling): Oh, well,
the thing about you is I want to break your face. But please, but please,
don’t get me wrong. Tonight wasn’t
all about beefs, right? In fact, there was one moment
between the candidates that was actually kind of sweet. First, I just want
to stick up for Tom. We have a broken
campaign finance system, but Tom has been spending
his own money fighting climate change. And you can’t knock someone
for having money and spending it
in the right way. -It’s my opinion.
-(cheers and applause) -Thanks, Andrew.
-No problem. Aw. Yang 2020. Everyone gets a thousand dollars
and a compliment. I love it. Like, Andrew Yang is so nice, I bet he would have the best
concession speech ever. He’d be like, “I may not
have won the presidency, “but I won something more
important: a friend. Thank you.” Now, just like
in previous debates, one of the most awkward moments
of the night came courtesy of
the original gaffe machine when he was talking
about domestic violence. Joe Biden. No man has a right to raise a hand
to a woman in anger other than in self-defense and that is rarely ever occurs. And so we have to just change
the culture, period. And keep punching at it,
and punching at it, and punching at it. It will be a big–
No, I really mean it. It-It will make–
I-it’s a gigantic issue. (laughter) What are you doing? What are you doing, Joe? The only way
he can recover from that is if he just starts making bad word choices his thing,
you know? He just needs to, like,
dig deeper and just be like, “We need to get right to the
heart of the drug epidemic. “I’m saying get deep in the
veins of the drug problem. And when we do it,
it’s gonna feel so good.” (laughter) So the candidates once again
spent two hours tonight trying to show voters
what separated them from the other people
on the stage. But when it came to Trump, they were all trying to show
that they were the same. We have a president who is not only
a pathological liar, he is likely
the most corrupt president in the modern history
of America. Read the Mueller report,
all 442 pages of it, that showed how the president
tried to obstruct justice. Sucking up to Vladimir Putin
every minute of the day. The president had to confess
in writing, in court, to illegally diverting
charitable contributions that were supposed
to go to veterans. First of all, we have a criminal
living in the White House. (gasps) A criminal
in the White House. Someone needs to tell
Donald Trump. I bet he was watching this
at home terrified like, (mimics Trump):
“Oh, no, a criminal? I hope he doesn’t steal all
this stuff I already stole.” (laughter) (normal voice):
But look, it was no surprise that at a Democratic debate they were talking
impeachment tonight. Because you see, the biggest
political story today was a blockbuster hearing
in Congress where we heard testimony
from Gordon Sondland, Trump’s ambassador to the E.U. and Homer Simpson’s body double. He’s the first witness
to testify who spoke directly
to President Trump about what he wanted
from Ukraine. And today he admitted,
he admitted that, yes, Trump demanded a quid pro quo. Specifically, if Ukraine’s
president got dirt on Joe Biden, Trump would have a meeting with Zelensky
in the White House. Which shows you how bad Trump
wanted dirt on Joe Biden, ’cause usually Trump
will do anything to get out of a meeting. Yeah. One time he even called
in a bomb threat. He was like, (mimics Trump):
“Hello, White House? “This is Mr. Al Qaeda. “I’m calling in a bomb threat
between 3:00 and 4:00 p.m. “in the conference room, but keep the doughnuts there,
I’ll eat them later.” (normal voice): And here’s
the thing, here’s the thing, not only did Sondland testify that Trump ordered
a quid pro quo, he testified
that basically everyone in the administration
knew about it. Everyone. Seriously. He threw everybody
under the bus: Mike Pompeo, Mike Pence, Mic Mulvaney, John Bolton, John Bolton’s mustache, even John Bolton’s
mustache’s mustache. But there’s
one man in particular that Sondland put at the center
of the whole scandal: Rudy Giuliani. Secretary Perry, Ambassador Volker and I worked with Mr. Rudy Giuliani
on Ukraine matters at the express direction of the president
of the United States. We did not want to work
with Mr. Giuliani. We worked with Mr. Giuliani because the president
directed us to do so. President Trump directed us
to, “talk with Rudy.” Let me say again,
we weren’t happy with the president’s directive
to talk with Rudy. We did not want to involve
Mr. Giuliani. Oh, goddam, nobody wanted to
work with Rudy Giuliani? You know, Sondland was talking
about Rudy like he was– like that weird kid that
your mom made you play with. Remember that kid? Yeah. And then that kid would always
get you in trouble. And you’d be like,
“Mom, I didn’t want to play “with Rudy in the first place. “”You said I have to. “Then he wanted to microwave
a dead pigeon. That’s not my fault.” Like I would have loved
to be a fly on the wall when Rudy Giuliani watched
that testimony. Although if there was
a fly on Rudy’s wall I’m pretty sure he’d eat it,
so maybe not exactly, but… But you know what I mean. So, today’s hearing was very bad
for President Trump, so much so that he came out
of the White House before the hearing was even over
to defend himself. And I got to say,
he seemed a little shook. Just a quick comment
on what’s going on in terms of testimony
with Ambassador Sondland. And I just noticed one thing, and I would say
that means it’s all over. “What do you want from Ukraine?” he asks me, screaming. “What do you want from Ukraine? “What do you want
from Ukraine? “I keep hearing all these
different ideas and theories. What do you want?
What do you want?” And now here’s my response… that he gave. Just gave. Ready?
You have the cameras rolling? “I want nothing.” That’s what I want from Ukraine. That’s what I said. “I want nothing.” (laughter) What is… what is Trump doing? That was one
of the least presidential things I’ve ever seen. He just looked like that
crazy dude in the neighborhood who’s yelling at everybody
on his front lawn. “If I find out
who’s been taking my newspaper, I swear to God!” Like, Trump is
the only president to bring down the property value
around the White House. Right? You can see.
Even the white people next door came out to see what
the commotion was all about. You can see in their faces like, “Oh, my God,
Donald is out there again. “Like, I-I don’t know. “I miss that lovely black family
who used to live here. “This-this guy is a problem. He-He’s a problem.” (cheering and applause) And you realize the worst part is that Trump was reading
all of that from notes. (laughter) Like, that wasn’t
Trump freestyling. That was Trump prepared. Now, look,
I’m no trained lawyer. I’m no trained lawyer. But I feel like innocent people
don’t need notes to remind themselves
that they’re innocent. Like, you never see defendants
in a courtroom like, “Can I just say,
Your Honor, I did… not murder my wife.” (laughter) So, look, this didn’t make Trump
look good or innocent. In fact, he said the same lines so many times
in so many different ways, it almost felt like
he wasn’t being presidential. It felt like
Trump was auditioning to play the character president
who is innocent. (laughter) Ready?
You have the cameras rolling? “What do you want from Ukraine?” “What do you want
from Ukraine?” “What do you want from Ukraine? “I keep hearing all these
different ideas and theories. What do you want?
What do you want?” “What do you want?
What do you want? I hear all these theories.
What do you want?” Right? “I want nothing.”
“I want nothing.” “I want nothing. I want nothing. I want no quid pro quo.” “I want
no quid pro quo.” “I want nothing.
I want nothing.” “I want nothing.”
Thank you, folks. (laughter and applause) I think he nailed it, people.

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