Abused By My Girlfriend: The Teenage Romance That Descended Into Terrible Violence

That’s where I got burnt, there. That’s a stab wound, there. When the police found me, I was told I was ten days away
from death. She was very caring, confident,
loving. She just showed… ..a real interest in me. So, what you were doing? We arrived. She said, straight away, “There’s been a problem and Alex has
hurt himself.” At the top the stairs, Alex was sat
with a towel wrapped around his arm, just blood everywhere. When we questioned it, they were both quite, sort of,
calm and rational, and explained that, yeah, you know, Alex has this
long-standing history of self-harm. The longer they were together and
the relationship grew, the mind games started playing. I’m going to go. That’s it.
I’m done. Out of the blue, she got his friends
to go pick her up to bring her here to tell us she was pregnant. I can’t be with you. I got this text to say… And it was like…yes. I was happy and I thought, I’m
there for my son, and we’re going
to be a family. And then the cracks started coming. I said I wasn’t happy with these
mind games starting again. I thought we’d gone past that. I said, “We’re not having it.”
So she packed all of TJ’s stuff up and she told Alex he was to choose. It was definitely TJ.
I didn’t want to not see him, so I literally just moved out, and that was the last time I went… ..home. Would you say, at any point, you’ve made it difficult for him to see his friends or family? He was only 19 when he went away and I never saw Alex for two years. And then, straight away, we found
out she was pregnant, and I thought,
“Well, that’s amazing.” But then everything just got
gradually worse and worse and worse. He states if you missed a night
of hitting him, you would then make up
for it the next night. I remember waking up in the morning to boiling water being poured on my
back. He says that he is told to make a
story up, to tell your parents that the shower
in the hotel was faulty. I didn’t want TJ to get hurt,
so I was fighting… ..to keep going, cos I didn’t know what was going to happen if I was to
leave. I was looking forward to it for a
reason. It could change her from doing all
the stuff she was doing to me. She had a bread knife on her. She went to go at my head,
like here, so I went, like that. We arrived and Alex and Jordan were
both telling us that he’d used that knife to cut his wrists,
basically. It didn’t appear that there had been
any incident at all between them. It’s certainly not how it
came across. We left. Alex went to hospital. And the next thing, the door knocks and there’s a police
car outside and I opened the door, and it was Ed, standing there. This is what I think it is.
This is… ..he’s being abused. I tell you what, Alex. You want come
and have a chat with me? We’ll go
upstairs. Have you been assaulted
or anything like that today? Even in the house, he was not
budging on his story, at all. I thought, “I need to get him out of
this environment.” Grab a jacket, and some shoes, mate. Whatever you’ve got.
Wallet. Whatever. And I still said,
“No, I’m doing this all to myself.” Straight away I just said it. And I said, “Please, just go on what
the neighbours have said, “because I don’t want to say that
it’s come from me.” He just, quite calmly, said to me… I need to explain to you that, at
the moment, you’re under arrest on suspicion of assault and
grievous bodily harm. How do you feel today about moving
forward? What are your thoughts and feelings,
at the moment? I just don’t want to get hurt any
more. And I’m building a future for me, and my kids.

About the author


  1. The full length documentary is on the BBC Three iPlayer page here: https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/p0700912/abused-by-my-girlfriend

  2. Well i guess men have finally started to be broken down by female matriarchal movement. Men better fight back or its only gonna get worse and the women will blame you for that too.

  3. Aw my hearts broke for him,no one deserves that I’m so happy bbc brought awareness it isn’t only men who abuse its women also🙌🏻

  4. I feel bad that he has to experience this, but im happy that he spoke about it and finally free from that hell like relationship.

  5. I always tell my brother would you accept the behaviour if this came from a boyfriend of mine? And if he says no then I say see? It works both ways

  6. This guy is so weak, I'm not saying he should have hit her except only in retaliation. The first time she hit him he should have went to the police, not the 213th time. That goes for women being abused by men. That being said this guy needs to grow a set of balls

  7. I’m sorry but this actually blows my mind. Video tape her. Leave her. This is a true example. That on domestic abuse. No matter how bad the physical violence is. The mental abuse is 10 times as bad.

  8. One year ago. My ex girlfriend abused me physically, emotionally and sexually. She exploit me financially. I lost all my money. She constantly lied to me even about her false pregnancy. She isolated me in my own house. Told terrible things about me that isn't even true. She never showed true emotions. She told me she was a witch and did black magic. I knew that the relationship was wrong. But she manipulated me so badly. I was like a puppet. I could not sleep.She even starved me. My family did everything to get rid of her.

    During the relationship, I tried to find out who she really was. But she didn't like it.

    After the relationship, I did everything to find out what was happend to me. My dokters told me that she was a psychopath. The police told me to stay away from her.

    Not long after our breakup. She had a new victim. And she is still whit him now.

  9. If a guy tells you he is being abused (if he admits it) do NOT laugh at him. Help him!
    So many men keep it a secret just so he won't be made fun of…
    Guys, if your looking at this and your in a situation with an abusive woman do not hesitate to get help.
    My husband was abused by his ex…when he found me I saved him.

  10. That right there is a good police man, reaching out to someone who was too afraid to speak out. You saved a life sir.

  11. This two people have both serious problems.
    She is very violent and abusive.
    He allowed she to abuse him.
    Both need help.
    Hope someone helps the babies.

  12. As an alpha it's hard for me to comprehend this, but I feel for you! women are mental! That's why I have been single for 10 years.

  13. What a sad story 😢 made my heart feel no good , his little son is so adorable hope they both in a safe/better place now 💕 GOD BLESSED 🙏

  14. Look: whether your a Male or a Female, abuse is abuse.

    Just because a man gets abused instead of a woman doesn’t mean we should tell them to “Man up.” and “Get over it.” Abuse can have the same affects on BOTH genders, it’s not rocket science. Therefore we should give equal support for both genders who are going through a time like this.

  15. God bless you and I hope you're doing well today. let that girl rott in jail she's scum of the earth. Look after your kiddies and yourself and stay safe.

  16. I like to play the victim, l like to be controlled, I like acting like a 7 year old, I like attention and sympathy and feeling sorry for myself.

  17. There's a lot of shame that comes from abuse and that's the reason why people don't talk about it. people who abuse all do similar things, in this case she first took him away from his family and friends. that's a big warning sign to watch for. good luck brother I hope you can find peace.

  18. I'm sorry to say this but I would have kicked her ass. I dont condone hitting women but I'm not going to stand their and be attacked

  19. Women are so protected that's why. They thought everything should bend to everything they want. Stay strong man! Keep going for your children.

  20. Don't just fall for pussy or asses or face value just don't believe in anyone there are more monsters that insists even good to turn bad and I was the victim where I got nobody to tell what I was getting tortured by a girl who ruined my whole life and I'm just living as a dead soul for sake of mom dads happiness and even if I want to love someone I am scared coz I can't lie or hide my past to just love someone new. I made mistakes and wrong decisions to cover my pain my agony she put on my character and made me die every day and that led me little do wrong but now when I find this new girl and told her everything she left me giving me curses more torture now I don't know what is wrong and why my life is cursed and I don't even know whom to tell this now I don't even know how to cry coz she made me feel worthless for opening up to her. I am scared to be alive coz I got characterless blames and scary situations that nobody understands or believes I know it sounds funny to few but my smile on face and clothes I wear is to cover up the torture I'm. Getting inside my head 24/7 now and everyday I don't know to stop please don't ruin anyone let us not kill anyone emotionally let us be good no double games no sexual attractions no abusive things no degradation or desires which leads to play multiple roles for sexing with people behind walls and cheating please no more violence. Please let's save each other and establish good . This sounds foolish to most of the people but please don't hurt anyone

  21. Perhaps my question is naive….
    but why did he not put a stop to it? All it would have taken is for him to walk away the first time she hit him.

  22. oh wow there's at least one case shown on how abusive girls can be to boys. finally someone showed the reality outside the usual narrative only allowed. we should demand they talk about female abuse against boys and men just as much as we do about men being abusive. we should also talk about abuse within the lgbt communities.

  23. So happy you found your voice and saved yourself and your children from a horrible life. God Bless your little family.

  24. I understand a man getting abused by a woman, but to allow someone to take it that far? Knives and boiling water….. You would think At some point instinct has to take over and that primal side would come out. I don't think I could stay peaceful after I had boiling water poured on me, no matter who was doing it. I know it's conditioning over a period time that allowed it, but still.

  25. I know im gonna get a fuckton of backlash for this, but just hear me out, because this is my personal opinion on the belief. The lad was abused as hell, there's no denying that…BUT, as a man, even if you love the woman, how can you STAY with someone stabbing and cutting you up? Are you mad? I know love can keep you from running and stuff, but JESUS almighty…If a woman ever lands a hand (or a knife) on you without LEGIT reason (you being aggresive, you starting a serious fight) then just SLAP her real bad, and go to the police with the stab/slash wounds, what did he think was gonna happen? A rematch? You've got a brain mate, use it.

  26. My ex gf has been physically and mentally abusing me for 3 years. I used force back one of the times and she took pictures. She broke my phone which had evidence and videos of her. She's threatening me to ruin my job. I don't know what to do.

  27. So great and brave of him to speak up. Stigma upon men who suffer from domestic violence has to end. Domestic violence is very very real, and it goes both ways. Kudos to him🙌

  28. Alex,Christ man,she picked her mark with you,she used you niceness against you,basically she emotionally and physically tortured you,But 👀 at you now,I’m sooooooo elfin chuffed for you. I wish you the happiest future cos you really deserve one.your the bravest cos you wouldn’t leave your beautiful kids with her,that a real man

  29. I'm glad that there's a story out there about a female abusing a male. I just see stories on male abusing female, and I honestly think that sends a bad message. Thank you for sharing your story, and though your scars will never fade, it won't have much of an impact later. Best wishes for the future. 💖

  30. Why would you have children with a woman like that! It's your decision to stay as an adult, but you just do not have children with a person you KNOW to be a psychopath, EVER.

  31. 2:45 "I only ever cut him, I never actually stabbed him."

    "Oh. Okay. Please tell me more about the innocent cutting… "


  32. I’m sad, and mad. Sad not just for him, but that people still have that stigma that a Woman cannot abuse a man, and a man will be the one who profits the most from sex because of our horny feelings, listen I don’t want to talk crap, but my friend never ever had a crush on someone in his life, and he is not a gay man.I was also bullied by a girl when I was in grade 1-2, but I believe she had it from home, or something else in her life, and she taught me stuffs aswell like how to pee.

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