-Congratulations, hosted “SNL.”
Fantastic. -Yeah, that was awesome.
-Second time back. -Yes.
[ Cheers and applause ] -Needless to say, I was thrilled
to see Stefon again. -Yes, Stefon did come back.
[ Cheers and applause ] -And, uh…
-That’s John Mulaney. -Yep. -John Mulaney writes Stefon
and is our dear friend. And he came out
as Stefon’s lawyer, Shy. -Yeah.
[ Laughter ] He was a lawyer as well as a —
-As a conceptual piss artist. -Yeah.
[ Laughter ] -And he whispered in my ear
to make me laugh. He said, “My girlfriend” —
[ Laughing ] [ Laughter ] He goes, “My girlfriend works at
Yoshinoya Beef Bowl.” [ Laughter ] Which is a restaurant chain
in L.A. [ Laughter ] -I will say it’s very — You mentioned —
I got a nice mention. Thank you so much.
-Yes, yes. I did “A Closer Look.” Stefon, your husband,
did “A Closer Look.” -And it is —
It’s the question I get asked the most is,
“How’s Stefon?” -Uh-huh.
[ Laughing ] -So I was very happy to be — Like, it’s a weird thing,
’cause I’m — I just want you to know,
I’m fully aware that Stefon is a fictional character.
-Oh, sure. -But when he’s with other men,
I have a real, like, “I’m glad he’s happy.”
-Yeah, right, right, right. [ Laughter ] “Oh, Colin.”
-Oh, good — Colin. -“I love it — Colin.
Oh, that’s interesting.” -Oh, good.
Little young for you, Stefon. -Little young, Colin.
Oh, yeah. “Little young. Going young.
I see how it is.” -But I’m happy for you, Stefon.
-I’m doing well, too. [ Laughter ] -But I want to ask —
Wait, I want to show a clip. You played an old man.
What was your name in the scene? -Oh, Horace!
He — He, uh… -Yeah.
-So that was a sketch that Cecily Strong
and James Anderson wrote. And it just said,
“Bill enters in a wheelchair.” And I was like,
“Well, that’s getting picked.” -Yeah.
-“We’re gonna do that.” And it’s very dirty.
-You had taken some Cialis. -And she wants to get pregnant.
-Yeah. -And so —
[ Laughter ] We’re a couple,
and my Cialis kicked in, and it only lasts
for a couple minutes, so they had
to take the opportunity to try to get pregnant.
[ Laughter ] -I was so impressed,
because I know from having worked there
and just network censors, clearly, the rules are you’re
not allowed to simulate at all. -Anything!
-Yeah. -And Betsy, very nice lady,
came down and said, “Bill, you are not allowed
to move a muscle when she sits down on you.”
-Yeah. -“Or we’re gonna be — you know,
we’re gonna get in trouble. But, you know, it was fun. -But what you could move
was the wheelchair. -I could move the —
-And you were really — [ Laughter ] You were really good at it. And I want to show — [ Laughter ] This is, uh —
You were great. [ Cheers and applause ] -It was so bad.
Poor Melissa. Oh, yeah.
Do you have a clip of it? -Oh, yeah.
Let’s take a look. -I guess we will leave. Come on, Horace. Wow. Slow… Slow. Horace. -Know what? No. You know what? You should be ashamed
of yourselves. This woman is —
[ Laughing ] [ Laughter, cheers, applause ] This woman is your friend. -You, uh —
[ Cheers and applause ] -I’m so bad at my job. -You got very, um — I was watching that, I’m like,
“Oh, God, Bill got very good over the years of knowing where
to put his face when he breaks.” -Yeah, I had to go
right behind her, yeah. Well, it was bad ’cause I backed
up and I knew I hit something, but I didn’t know what it was. And I could hear Melissa
behind me going, “It’s me.” [ Laughter ] Just like, “Oh, it’s me.” And I look,
and I see Aidy Bryant, so I’m like,
“Well, if Aidy’s alone, that means I have
the entire table behind me.” [ Laughter ] And she’s looking at me
like this, and I’m just like — -It was — You always —
[ Laughter ] There’s such little space to operate anything
in an “SNL” sketch. -Oh, no, it’s awful.
-And it reminded me another sketch you were in,
which was a game-show sketch where Wiig and Maya were like showcase show girls
in a golf cart. -Yes, yes.
-And I think Maya was driving around a golf cart
in just a tiny circle, and Wiig had to run around her
being like, “Wait! Hold on!” [ Laughter ] -And then it cut to me
and Vanessa Bayer. That was the sketch
that started — I’m sorry. That was the sketch
that started, um — -Oh, yeah,
it was a game-show sketch with the best opening line. -The best opening line was —
So it was like, “You — We — You said — Now we’re back from the break. The answer you gave was “beef.” I’m so sorry, but the correct
answer was “nine.” [ Laughter ] Which means that she said,
“I believe the answer is beef,” and they went,
“We’ll see if you’re correct right after this message.”
[ Laughter ] And I read that —
James Anderson, again, wrote it. And when that came up,
we all started laughing. -It was great.
Well, you crushed it, buddy. -Thank you, buddy.
-And congrats on “Barry.” Can’t wait to see more of it.
-Awesome. -Bill Hader, everybody.