Black Panther, Indonesian Coffee & Terrorist Games – World News With Cats – Ep. 9


Welcome to World News with Cats, I’m Tim — What the hell is this? This is the intern This is outrageous! This is because he’s white, isn’t it? You brought another white cate in here, like you because a minority like me makes you uncomfortable You know what this is? This is white washing! And I won’t stand for it What was that, honkey? Are you lookin’ for a pillow fight, mate? You better get that look of your face before I fluff it out of you Everyone just needs to calm down! Damn you Damn you for making me do this You brought this on yourself! Shelter… Noooooo! This year’s coffee awards were again taken out by an unusual Indonesian recipe in which the beans are eaten by cats and collected from their waste There you go mate There’s a coffee I hope it’s not one of those Indonesian… Relax, it’s just Nescafé That I shat into a cup Mate, that is disgusting In the arts, the documentary Black Panther has broken opening box office records and is set to make over one billion dollars worldwide Congratulations to all my brothers and sisters Oh, mate That’s racist Don’t you have a flight to catch? Yeah, mate The Commonwealth Games have commenced Our field reporter Shelter Cat, joins us from one of the most dominant nations in Commonwealth history Yeah, that’s right Tim, I’m here reporting live from Afghanistan where the games… are… somewhere… What? Shelter Cat, Afghanistan is not a Commonwealth nation Shelter Cat, I am so sorry Just stay calm… and read the sport Are you serious, mate? Yes! Our listeners lose their minds if we don’t do the sport Okay Britain’s Cycling team has been undergoing special training in an attempt to— Hello? I’m sorry, Mrs. Shelter Cat, your son… failed to finish reading the sport He what? It was such a breach of contract, that management decided to let him go Oh, no It’s ok, Mrs. Shelter Cat I’m gonna be okay How would you like to die? I survived a terrorist playin’ Whack-A-Mole The bastard couldn’t kill me ‘cause he couldn’t find the hole I never should have wandered into that guy’s patch But I had the skill to walk out still with my head attached

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Comments

  1. Haha, that's some insane shit… but maybe informative? I might be high AF, but is it just me or are these music videos catchy? Anyway I'm going to eat something. Keep 'em coming you melodious cat freaks

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