We talked about Joe Biden and his “No Malarkey” bus tour, which, unless you’re
over the age of 80, is a term
you’ve definitely had to google. For more on this, we turn to our very own
Michael Kosta, everybody, who’s actually in Iowa following
the “No Malarkey” bus tour. Michael,
you’re on the road with the bus. Doesn’t the slogan “no malarkey” make Biden seem a little dated
and out of touch? (transatlantic accent):
Ah! That’s a load of horsefeathers,
Trevor. That slogan is
the cat’s pajamas, see? And anyone who says different
is just screwy in the noodle. Nyah. (laughter) Mi-Michael,
why are you talking like that? Well, I have to, Trevor. Nyah. Everyone… everyone
with the “No Malarkey” bus is required to talk old-timey,
you get me? So either get on the trolley, or big Joe’s gonna take you
out back behind Bell’s soda shop and give you the old
“one, two, buckle my shoe.” (laughter) What does that even mean? (normal voice):
I-I don’t know. Maybe it’s a sex thing? I… Okay, Kosta, but-but why… why is Joe Biden doing this? Old-timey slang isn’t going
to connect with young voters. (transatlantic accent):
Oh, phooey, Trevor. S-Sounds to me like you’re
hopped up on the moon juice, the giggle sauce, Mike’s Hard Lemonade. I don’t… I don’t think
that last one was an old… Anyway, you know what,
forget it. Kosta, okay,
what if Joe’s strategy of old-time real guy
doesn’t work out? Well, what are you, nutty? Hey, these-these Biden guys
ain’t no palookas. If old-timey slang don’t work, they’ll just go
further back in time. (laughter) (English accent):
Forsooth! Mayhaps the language of the bard shall catapult Lord Biden to Columbia’s fair district. Dost thou comprehend the ruse, or doth it not pass through
the dark skin of a Moor? -Um…
-(laughter) I’m sorry, did-did you just say I can’t understand politics
because I’m black? (normal voice):
I… It’s-it’s not me.
It’s my character. Okay, Michael.
Well, my character’s gonna cut your Christmas bonus this year.
That’s what’s gonna happen. (transatlantic accent):
Ah, shucks, boss! All this old talk got my head
a little topsy-turvy. I didn’t mean nothing by it. -I-I… -Know what?
That’s just a bunch of malarkey. Get out of here,
you rapscallion. Michael Kosta, everyone.