‘Real News Tonight’: A Reliable Source For News Trump Will Like


HERE’S A SHOCKER —
TRUMP DIDN’T TWEET ANYTHING ABOUT IT. IN FACT, HE’S HAD ONLY FOUR
TWEETS THE LAST TWO DAYS. I’M STARTING TO WORRY. DID SOMEONE CUT OFF HIS THUMBS? WHAT IS HAPPENING? ( LAUGHTER )
WHAT IS GOING ON? IS THE “NEW YORK TIMES” NOT
#FAILING ENOUGH? HAS HE NOT GONE TO THE BATHROOM
IN TWO DAYS? WHAT’S GOING ON? ( APPLAUSE )
WE MIGHT HAVE A HINT — ( APPLAUSE )
WE MIGHT HAVE A HINT– YESTERDAY, POLITICO REPORTED
THAT, DURING THE CAMPAIGN, TRUMP’S STAFF CAME UP WITH A WAY
TO KEEP HIM OFF TWITTER. APPARENTLY, HE TWEETS WHENEVER
HE SEES CRITICISM IN THE MEDIA, SO HIS STAFF WOULD MAKE SURE
THAT EVERYTHING HE WATCHED “INCLUDED A STEADY STREAM OF
PRAISE.” AND, AS I’VE SAID, WE DO KNOW HE
LIKES A STEADY STREAM. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
THANK YOU. THANK YOU. I APPRECIATE IT. THANK YOU. THANK YOU. SOMETIMES THEY EVEN CREATED
POSITIVE COVERAGE. LIKE, THEY MADE THE POSITIVE
COVERAGE IN THE NEWS. WHEN THE TEAM COULDN’T FIND NEWS
PRAISING TRUMP, THEY SCRAMBLED TO PLACE A STORY IN
CONSERVATIVE-FRIENDLY OUTLETS LIKE FOX NEWS AND BREITBART. SO HIS STAFF WOULD USE FOX AND
BREITBART TO PLANT NEWS… THAT IS… FAKE… ( LAUGHTER )
GOSH. I WISH THERE WAS A TERM FOR
THAT. OH, I KNOW WHAT IT IS. IT’S PROSTITUTION. ( APPLAUSE )
YEAH. NOW, OF COURSE, BEING IN THE
ENTERTAINMENT BUSINESS, I HAVE NO EXPERIENCE WITH USING
FLATTERY TO MANIPULATE SOMEONE. MY STAFF SAYS ITS ONE OF MY BEST
QUALITIES. AND I’M GOING TO DO MY PART TO
KEEP TRUMP OFF TWITTER. SO, WHITE HOUSE STAFFERS, NEXT
TIME THE PRESIDENT THINKS HE HASN’T BEEN GETTING ENOUGH
PRAISE, YOU MIGHT SHOW HIM THIS NEWS CLIP.>>WELCOME TO REAL NEWS TONIGHT. I’M JILL NEWS LADY. OUR TOP STORY, PRESIDENT DONALD
TRUMP IS VERY SMART. THE THINGS HE DID TODAY WERE
GOOD, AND EVERYONE LOVERS HIM. FOR MORE, WE GO TO JIM.>>THANKS, JILL. THE PRESIDENT DID MANY STRONG
THINGS TODAY. CURRENTLY EVERYONE ON TWIT, SR.
PRAISING HIM. ALSO, REPORTS INDICATE HIS
FATHER LOVED AND RESPECTED HIM.>>THIS IS BREAKING NEWS. DONALD TRUMP WON LAST YEAR’S
ELECTION BIGLY.>>NO SURPRISE THERE, JILL. TRUMP IS GOOD.>>YES, HE IS. HE IS GOOD.>>TRUMP’S GOOD. A GOOD MAN. AND THAT’S THE REAL NEWS
TONIGHT. COMING UP, DONALD TRUMP IS STILL
GET AN ERECTION. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>>Stephen: THAT’S HOW YOU DO IT. THAT’S IT. NOW, OBVIOUSLY, WE MADE SOME OF
THAT UP.

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Comments

  1. It's maybe time to move to a country where the rule of law and freedom of press is still respected. Germany welcomes Migrants also from the US. Here are the 20 best cities in Germany to live and work: http://www.immigrantspirit.com/best-cities-in-germany-for-work/

  2. LOL at the "Real Scoop" on Donald Trump. His father loved him, he is great and can still get an erection. Go you Trump!!! Gotta love real news.

  3. Steve Colbert, you used to be funny. Maybe if you get off the deep state propaganda and back to comedy, you will be funny again.

  4. This should happen IRL. CNN and the rest should conspire to run nothing on Trump except fake stories. Stores of heroism and superhuman feats that are so ridiculous and over the top flattering to Trump that they'd make the N. Korea Kim family blush.
    I bet Trump would act like nothing was amiss and flaunt this proof he had single handedly reformed the "fake" media into telling the truth about him. Hahaha…

  5. wow.. by looking at this video and the comments, it looks like the propaganda machine from soros n company is on full speed… #MAGA

  6. So the administration has switched from trying to emulate the Reich to emulating North Korea? Fuck! If I wanted to lick the ass-hole of a tyrant, I'd become a Christian again.

  7. Just imagine being the drummer guy. I mean, he probably only really deals with the band and Jon. Job's probably his main manager/boss so he typically doesn't deal with Stephen. For Stephen to take a minute and sincerely thank him, kind of an uplifting moment. Stephen has tens if not a hundred different employees who works with him, he probably only interacts with a handful of them. The little guy, our unspoken hero, the underdog.
    Thank you, drum guy

  8. If the bulk of Trump supporters weren't as adamant as a stop sign, this could actually be a good way to devalue him into resignation.

  9. Small detail: The woman who plays Jill Newslady was the voice of Cartoon Hillary Clnton. When cartoon Clinton Says "Fabulous question" and Newslady says "erection" the -tion sounds the same……You're welcome.

  10. Trump won't run for president.
    Trump won't win the nomination.
    Trump won't win the election.
    The electors will overturn the vote.
    The recount will overturn the election.
    The popular vote will save us.
    The Russians hacked the election.
    The celebrities will save us.
    The protests will save us.
    The military will overthrow Trump.
    Trump will be impeached.
    The witches will cast Trump out of office <—– you are here.
    Trump will be assassinated.
    Trump will never run in 2020.
    Trump will never win the 2020 nomination.
    Trump will never win the 2020 election.

  11. Globalism weakens this country how about the… death tax ?? that's great for poor people I haven't seen anyone report it ..

  12. I was constipated and didn't use the bathroom for two days. That's why I didn't tweet. Steve Bannon helped me though, he's a master of s**t.

  13. This fake news accusation by trump is a strategy most likely developed by Bannon to divert americans from the real issue:

    1. Trump – Russia ties.

    2. Trump Income tax returns.

    3. Trump WH administration which is in a total mess.

    4. Trump historic idiotic claimed that his 306 electoral college votes win is the highest. It just shows his source is not reliable, fake & we should chase him where he got this information from??? I believe it came from Trump homer simpson brain.

    5. Trump administration have no clue on how to repeel & replace Obamacare.

    6. Imposing 20% tax import. By end of the day, Americans is the one whom going to pay for the "stupid" wall. Unlike what he repeatedly claimed that the mexicans will pay for the wall.

    7. Trump went for golf 6x in 1mth. he said if he got elected as America President, he wont have time to play golf as he will be "too busy" on making America great again.

    Now this is my strategy for the Media, let Trump said whatever he want to say about the media… fake news, bla bla bla… u guys just focus on digging, sharing all the facts to people worldwide on the 7 facts i already mentioned & other facts that is already out there 😬

  14. I had been reading on fox insider that trumps approval rating is 87 percent. To hear now that the government is planting fake stories for the president? I'd say this is some weird sort of conspiracy theory… I mean I would if I was an idiot, but this is just plain corruption. We need to fight back… this is just insane.

  15. TRUMP CANNOT READ. Suggesting his thumbs were cut off supports the notion that he tweets himself.. That is pro-trump.. from Colbert… In honesty the man cannot read a word and is functionally illiterate… WHY DOESN'T ANY REPORTER ASK HIM THIS DIRECTLY… If he could say any sentence from any page that he didn't memorize then he could prove he can read (which he can never do BECAUSE HE CANNOT READ)

  16. I've got a stark $100 bill that says Trump would completely believe that news bit. I'm not even kidding, I would shake someones hand and bet 100 greenbacks that the current President of the United Sates would take that news bit completely serious.

  17. I love fake news!! It's the BEST drinking game in a long time!  Taking a shot for every "fake news" reference by Trump Administration or it's various whorelike subsidiaries gets you drunk as fuck in less than 5 minutes.

  18. The stupidest thing about the whole fake news thing is that it started on the Republican side – shortly before Trump supporters started shouting "Fake News TM" about every article that made Trump look less than amazing there was a huge scandal about how Google and Facebook's automated news feeds were promoting low grade and often made up news articles praising Trump, refering to those articles as fake news. So rather than turning it around on them, we're actually exploring the true meaning of the term in the current administration, one that was lost quickly as the original controversy settled and Trump supporters latched onto it to write off any and all criticism of His Biglyness.

  19. haha saying his dad loved and respected him is going a little bit into cruelty… oh wait he rapes kids so kill him more.

  20. You know jackshit.oh yeah obama was so good-funding isis like hillary and expanding the debt from 8 trillion to 17 trillion.apparently your ratings are getting worse sickfuck and infowars will continue to soar-they have more than 1 reporter ya know!

  21. Fake News…Faux News…Fox News OMG 😧 Quick, someone tell Trump! This is the kind of cast-iron evidence he loves.

  22. Turns out Putin used the same strategy of fake news. He even pushed fake news when they knew he was online because he would retweet them.

  23. Did anyone get the subtle joke that a woman and a Black man are the ones doing this? You know? The two categories of people LEAST likely to give Trump any praise?

  24. I'm willing to bet that there's a viable market of people eager to pay top dollar for that actress to meet with them as Jill Newslady just so she could talk to them as if they're donald trump while they "milk the dragon" or "flick the bean" right in front of her. of course, she'd have to stay completely in character until 3 minutes after they finish.

  25. Colbert is not a real source of news, he is yet another over-paid actor that is under the CFR's thumb.

  26. why does CBS News need a qualifier titled: "Real News" ??
    I know the answer to my own question.:) The reason is journalism and reporting the news has increasingly become opinionated, bias, commercialized, and it started with the 60 minutes program back in 1969. However, it wasn't until Donald Trump came on the scene this qualifier "real news" is now a part of the CBS Slogan. The honest reporting stopped in the early to mid 1990's,a decade after Walter Cronkite retired. When FOX News and other conservative talk radio became main stream in the 90's , CNN, CBS, and MSM started to show their liberal and biased views. I admit, I didn't detect it back then, I was naive and uninformed, and slept through most of it until after 911. Today, none of the MSM, including CNN and CBS hold back on their liberal agenda's. This is an injustice to our democracy because journalists and newscasters report with impunity, and under the guise of freedom and fairness, a "duty" to inform the facts to the citizens. Its not just unfair or unethical. I think we should start an oversight process on how the whole media and news is reported. I think we can do this without marring the 1st amendment – the intent is to bring honesty and integrity back to what the population of this country relies on as news. There are far too many "nobodies" with a typeset and Letter head from a recognized news outlet that can spew out lie after lie, and hate filled opinion after another. A true "night and day" scenario from the Cronkite era. "Middle" America trusted the media for all those decades. These so called snot nosed nobody journalist think they have a skill of omitting facts, or producers with a nose ring decide to air or write to only a certain topic, that they ( and their liberal agenda) "deem" is the news of the day, instead of reporting the top 10 events of the day fairly. If no one trusts the media any longer, what are your plans of survival, or revival? If your still reading, here is a specific example (from today) that I am talking about. Sen. John Warner from Virginia was on NBC's "Face the Nation" today. He used a NY Times Article as a source that said" Nigerian Army Uses Trump’s Words to Justify Fatal Shooting of Rock-Throwing Protesters, By Dionne Searcey and Emmanuel Akinwotu. The NY Times apparently relied on the Nigerian Army's twitter feed as the source that made the claim. When I tried to open the Nigerian source ( on twitter) the post was taken down. The reason we are given the post was taken down is suspicious, it claimed the Nigerians retracted it because they "felt" it was inappropriate or something like that, but the point I am making is their is no proof to either the NY Times Article, or the John Warner statement made on national TV this morning. Without the willingness and assistance from Twitter to re-publish the Tweet, we'll never know it even existed. WHERE"S THE TWEET? WITHOUT THE TWEET, IT'S ALL A LIE. The Nigeran government would be another source to confirm,…. if the US Government could get Nigera to make a statement that they indeed used Trump’s Words to Justify Fatal Shooting of Rock-Throwing Protesters, CASE CLOSED. UNTIL THEN – Its another example of baseless and fake news reporting perpetrated by all the left winger outlets, ( ie, Twitter, NY Times, Sen. John Warner) – unless I can verify Nigeria made this outrageous statement, I consider it fake news, you know the same stuff for the last 2 years.

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