Tiger Love, Poop News, and Iron Max! | Top of the Monday


-Ta-ta-ta, ta-ta-ta-ta-ta,
ta-ta-ta-ta Hi, I’m your host, Zach Anner, and while most news shows
give you the bad news, we’re here to give you the good. This is “Top of the Monday.” I’ve got some great news
about animals. In Russia,
in the Far East Safari Park, there’s a tiger named Amur and they gave it a goat to eat
way back in November. Amur, like a good Samaritan, had
no interest in eating the goat. Here’s a picture of them
playing hide-and-seek together. Isn’t that the most adorable
thing you’ve ever seen? Let’s see
how they’re getting along. Oh, God! Oh, that was traumatizing. I-I guess
we have a little work to do. Well, uh, baby steps, guys. This week’s “Top of the Monday”
is brought to you by Morning Milkshakes in a Mug. They’ll have no idea
you’re drinking milkshakes. Mmm. Yeah. That’s a milkshake. And now, let’s check in on
what’s going on in… Poop News. Seriously?
That’s what it’s called? That’s the segment name? In the city
of Grand Junction, Colorado, they found a new way
to fuel vehicles. You guessed it — human feces. Yes! Finally,
I can contribute to society in the way I’ve always dreamed! You know Mother Nature
is straight-up loving this crap. There are a few roadblocks,
however, and I think Jeremy Kranowitz, Executive Director
of Sustainable America said it best when he said, “People don’t really
want to finance… sh-t.” Well, Jeremy,
speak for yourself, because the Kickstarter
for my experimental short film is doing gangbusters right now. Way past my $250 goal. Just look at this preview. [ Breathing heavily ] Why? I see it. I see it. No!
Why am I so sad?! [ Mumbles ] And now, let’s see
what’s in the tree. There’s a monkey in the tree. All right.
[ Laughs ] Let’s turn our attention
to something a little more heartwarming. 3-year-old Max Levy
needed a metal disc inserted into his chest
to treat hemophilia, and his Dad didn’t know
how to break the news to him until they watched
“Iron Man” together and he had the idea to compare
his son’s operation to Tony Stark’s, so his Dad started the hashtag
#IronMax on Twitter, and when Marvel
caught wind of this, they put Iron Max
into the Iron Man comics. Now, this is a wonderful
and very touching story, but I’ve got to say,
I’m a little upset with DC Comics because I have a character
called Wheelchair Batman, and DC Comics
has never called me about it. Must be because I’m not a kid. Kids are taking over the world. We’ve got Iron Max, Bat Kid. Pretty soon, we’re gonna have
a Kid President. What’s that? We do? Okay, that sounds great! Moving on.
What’s Good With You? Hilarious Coil says, [ Irish accent ]
“The house is ready to sell, I’m getting a tattoo
for me wedding, and I got a great deal
on a studio apartment for me honeymoon. Life is fecking beautiful.” Well, congratulations. I may have gone with
a lucky charm instead of a tattoo,
but that’s just me. Got good news? Share it with us and we could
use it on next week’s episode. All right, well, that’s all
the time we have for this week. I’ve got to go work on
my Wheelchair Batman impression. Remember to subscribe
to SoulPancake on YouTube, even if you watch this video
on Facebook. I want to apologize
for all the scatological humor in this week’s episode. I mean,
we’re just reporting the news, and there’s a lot of good crap
going on this week. A lot of good crap. A lot of poo.

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Comments

  1. Zach I've missed seeing you on here !!!!!! I was sooooooooo happy when you popped up on soul pancake again. I can't wait for more !!!!!!!!

  2. I love you, Zack! SoulPancake is seriously the best. I may be biased since Rainn Wilson is my spirit animal….but still. great stuff as always! πŸ‘β€

  3. Always fun catching this show….
    Good Noos: My birthday trip to San Antonio did not suck thanks to all the alcohol that was consumed by all!!!

  4. Thankyou so so much Zach Anner for being you, you bring so much light to this world!!!! SO MUCH!! :1 πŸ™‚ πŸ˜€

  5. Zach Anner: I bought the book, I love the man, I'll dedicate my Mondays to this show. Oh, and no homo. 😚

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