Tony Robbins: Break the Cycle of Negative Thinking ( Tony Robbins Mindset )


Music I can’t control whether you’re husband
and wife will live or die or get sick or leave you or get a divorce I don’t want
any of that to happen any healing day I hate suffering I do anything I can’t
help people’s not suffer but I can’t control that you can you can there are
people have lost their arms lost their sight they’re the people that have been
through the most horrific experiences life and they found a way to still be
happy because they’ve made the decision that life is too short to suffer by the
interview dozens and hundreds over the years but dozens that like have impacted
my soul that made me realize but I can change this I’ve just gotten used to it
I’ve bought into the theory that this this survival software that’s constantly
running and making you suffer that that’s normal no that’s what the mind
will do and mind has been around forever what I’m gonna do is something different
and the way I get out of suffering I gave myself a 90 second look it’s really
simple I say look I feel myself starting to
feel that stress filling that pissed off this or upsetness or concern or worry
but I get whenever I realize that’s not gonna make it better
life’s too short to suffer and then I just kind of breathe slowly slow
everything down that crazy about so every set of thought I’m gonna kill that
son of a bitch right and then then you don’t kill them could you don’t believe
that mom it’s the thoughts that are stressful that you believe
when you question them you break the pattern there are certain patterns that
cause people to be fulfilled to be happy to fit to be strong to feel alive to be
vibrant to have passion in their life to do well financially but even more
importantly emotionally psychologically spiritually in their health and their
relationships and there are also patterns and make people frustrated
overwhelmed depressed sad lonely cause them to be struggling financially
struggling with their bodies struggling intimately and those patterns they’re
not because there’s something wrong with somebody’s because of a pattern that
we’re doing what’s the fastest way to create a change in basically developing
the one thing that all people have in common to succeed their leaders because
I don’t care what what style you are I don’t care if you’re a mom if you’re a
great mom you lead your child you’re not led by your child or great dad you’re
great businessperson you’re great salesperson you’re a great negotiator
you’re great anything you’re great human being
things this has been my entire life’s obsession what makes the difference in
people’s lives and that leadership component as I say doesn’t always mean
somebody follows you a leader somebody lives life on their terms that you will
never settle for less than you can be or share or give or create it’s not what we
get that makes us happy it’s who we become how we live our life who we are
as a person people can take away all the things but who you become no one can
take away and the problem is most of us are trying to be something we’re not but
it isn’t so much about change about changing yourself the change happens
when you be yourself know thyself that’s the hard part for most people and then
be thyself because most of us in our lives out of a desire for respect or
achievement or love or connection or something we’ve been trying to be the
way we think we have to be in order to get that love respect appreciation
whatever it is we’ve been after at some unconscious level and we’ve been doing
it so long that we think that this is who we are because success without
fulfillment is failure and I can’t tell you how many people I work with who are
supposedly the best in the world at what they do and they have more money than
they can spend and they have all these people that love and respect them and
yet unhappy inside because if you want to
know what’s really you what are you gonna be alive is when it’s really you
and you may think you know who you are cuz you’ve been living a certain way but
I’ll tell you how you’ll know you’ll feel euphoric you’ll feel strong you’ll
feel unlimited you’ll feel free I have seen and a three million people around
this earth and eighty countries I’ve seen to some anything you can see and
there are only so many patterns and what you’re gonna find underneath all of this
behavior is we have the same needs when you understand what those needs are and
which ones you’re focusing on you start to understand why people do the crazy
things they do including you and I and you begin to understand hey there might
be a better way to meet my needs and I don’t have to get caught up in this game
of stress and frustration upset or I could really help this person I care
about because I could see what’s really going on part of what we want to
accomplish here as leaders is we want to become practical psychologists we want
to understand what’s really going on so we can help so we can make a difference
so we can transform so yes of course you can do better in your business because
the more you understand about what people need and want but greater you’re
gonna be the better manager a better leader the better mom or dad the better
friend and there’s a better you that’s available when you understand what’s
driving you but most of us are running patterns over and over again and we want
to free that up to free it up we got to break the pattern we got to do things
that are different so we’re gonna do something different I’m not here because
I believe in positive thinking if you think’s that’s what I believe you don’t
know much about me I’m not one those people who believes you’re supposed to
go to your garden and chant there’s no leads there’s no leads there’s no easy there’s weeds right there all right
that’s what I believe here’s what I believe I believe if you
really want to be effective you got to tell the truth what I want you to get is
the single most important skill of life it’s the word that all leaders have what
would that word be influence what changes companies is leaders the only
way to change the company is leadership and I want to change a company that I
own and I want to make a shift in that company the number one thing I’m gonna
do is shifting leadership that might be taking leaders to a different level that
might bring new leaders in that by the new leaders of new voices with new
perspectives with new skill sets new directions but we need to take these two
available leaders solve problems and leaders maximize resources if you’re
gonna solve problems you can’t do it yourself it would already been solved
you have to get others to help you to do it that requires influence true if you
can get people to maximize resources that requires influence if you’re gonna
get people to partner with you provide you resources capital suppliers anything
that requires influence if you’re going to have an impact on your kids or your
community or the world that requires influence there is no more important
skill of leadership than influence and yet most of us think of it like selling
and as a result we don’t master influence so I’m not here today to try
and get you to become a master of influence in 45 minutes or so by
chatting with you here because we have so many other speakers this is the area
of life I am most focused on because I know that if you can’t influence you
can’t lead but if you can influence powerfully intelligently with integrity
there is no limit to whatever you can envision and what you can make real and
if your influence becomes not just use the influence but you’re able to
influence systems people company culture if you can turn other people into
influencers now whatever you vision about can be made into reality and so as
a skill of influence we can ask ourselves company agree leaders are what
change companies raise Hannity grew that say I
and leaders number one skills influence of degrees say aye but then the question
becomes how do you influence how do you influence consistently with integrity
you can influence many ways you can do without integrity but the good news is
we live in a world today where whatever you do it’s transparent to the world
because there are no secrets anymore other I don’t try to have a secret today
bless you you can forget the secret with the internet with a culture we have the
way the world is today there are no more secrets and whatever you think is still
possibly keep secret give it three or four more years and it’ll be impossible
every phone call you make is recorded there’s no single phone call that goes
in turn out in North America but they don’t have a recording of and they can
search by word by tone by tempo they can even recognize voices now there’s no
thing is such thing as privacy everything you’ve ever put on the
Internet is there forever and people know it and can search it the way you
write is searchable mountain you cannot sign you email you can put on somebody
else’s email and the structure of your language and the way you influence
things can be study at this level so the good news about that is manipulation as
a ongoing tool for success is over but adding value will never go out of style
truth will never go out of style so influencing with integrity is the
secret but what really influences people do facts and figures we give you no
facts and figures out of a core story is that can influence people no it’s the
weaving that story together in a way that produces what shifts people and
that’s human emotion ultimately the big game here is emotion you have to
influence emotion you have to influence the emotion of your people if you’re
gonna maximize resources and if we all agree as we talked about the other day
it’s not a lack of resources it’s a lack of what resourcefulness if you’re
creative enough if you’re playful enough if you’re determined enough if you’re
focused enough you can find a way if you’re giving enough if you’re generous
enough if you’re honest enough if you’re courageous enough you won’t get people
to help you you will find the way you will make that thing happen you’ll
access the resource you get someone to coach you teach you loan it to you let
you try it drive it experience it so it’s the ability influence emotion
because that’s what affects our intellect that’s the bottom line of
course story is only there to give you a set of
facts to educate someone that will make them emotional left to make a decision
and what they do is they go through a series of things that you love emotions
about that may save them in a non-emotional way but the only reason
they work is because you know they’re gonna open the person’s emotion how many
agree with me on the side so as leaders we can never forget the humans who are
emotional creatures including ourselves and to influence other people we have to
know what already influences them we can’t ever forget what truly
influences them it’s gonna come down to our ability to connect with them in a
deep emotional level or get others to do the same here’s how I’d say it a really
simple term to influence someone you have to already be influenced right to
move somebody you better be moved to touch somebody you can’t touch somebody
about your product or service or vision or idea or your company if you’re not
touched to persuade others you have to be persuaded
you can’t give somebody else but you don’t have now you may have it
intellectually and here’s the challenge when we first meet somebody in your
relationship and you’re all excited what’s a little energy like zero to ten
make the sound of that energy you meet someone you’re totally excited by make
this sound every six months six years twenty years later that’s scary at it
and it’s not time because there are people I’ve taught I’ve been with them
been together 65 years and they’re still out of their mind for each other they
make the same amount of noise you did in the beginning here what changes is very
often when you’re around something enough I don’t care what it is there’s a
law called the law of familiarity the law of familiarity says this every round
something enough you take it just a little bit for granted there’s no matter
what it is it’s not that you don’t care it’s it used to it
it’s that the variety of it is not quite as high it’s not so new and with that
sometimes you give it less significance even though in your heart you know it’s
significant you don’t keep the aliveness of it it becomes something you
intellectual lives versus something you feel inside your body with a passion so
there people say but we love each other yeah oh that’s great you know hug each
other right now and then you say you love it you give a little kiss like that
was that how it was in the beginning no it isn’t time
it’s that most people don’t understand that this emotion this intensity this
passion has to be constantly reinforced every single day and like any muscle if
you don’t use it you so then you have the base understanding why you do what
you do but you’ve lost the energy that makes it a lot and so if you’re gonna be
touching people you got to be touched so then the question is how do we influence
ourselves how do we influence other people we got to get them into their
emotions we got to get ourselves into the emotions they’re gonna move us to
action we got to do that one going because otherwise all the stuff you
wrote down will die it’ll die in your book it’ll die in your head it has to be
a level of emotional hunger in you that makes you go falls through there’s got
to be a level of energy knew that when you go share with people you’re able to
influence them to follow through and when they don’t do it enough to get back
in there with them again and get them to do it again this is where the whole game
gets won or lost degree you disagree with me on this so what we gotta look at
is first of all us how many of you have days when you wake up and you feel like
I don’t want to talk to people today I’m gonna go days like this Eli’s say ah but
again as I said the other day if you’re the leader you don’t have that choice
and you’re the leader you have to get in a good state if you’re leader you have
to get yourself in that place and I know many of you have had some gut
checks let me see again in the last six months 12 months in your business with
economic onomichi light has never changed before I leave out those gut
checks AI so what do we do we have to become masters of influence
which means we have to be able to master the state of our own organization to
master state of our own organization we got to know how to change that how fast
my friends how fast and where does it have to start ourselves since were the
first constraint and if we can do with ourselves and influence then we can
teach everybody else to influence we’ve said business is innovation and
marketing you have to influence people to innovate because they’re not going to
just do it because they’re used to what works and it’s easier and they know it
innovation means massive what change how many people go give me more massive
change my life with all the other things I’m
trying to hang on to they’re not gonna do that you have to influence people to
innovate and marketing is influence so what influences us is our state’s how do
we change our states let’s start with you and I and with anybody I want to
work with you’ve worked with me before you know the first answer if you’re
gonna change somebody state the fastest way to do it is physical trying to
change somebody’s mind is really hard change their body their mind will go if
you doubt it give someone enough alcohol and just see how quickly you can change
them true give enough alcohol I don’t care who they are they’re gonna change
what are you changing biochemistry physiology physical body and the emotion
the mind will shift that’s why people take drugs it’s why people eat when they
go e it’s a biochemical change in their body so but we can do this through
movement we can do this you change so if you want to be the leader and you’re
gonna be affected first thing I say to all of you going home so you don’t feel
overwhelmed is you need to develop a ongoing discipline because we are our
rituals I mean a physical one if you want to say well why is my life the way
it is today look at your rituals what do you call them rituals are not you have
them most of you get up and you have a set of rituals you go
straight to email or you go straight work out or you go have your breakfast
or you hit the snooze long at least three times your ritual who knows what
I’m talking about here and if you want to know what somebody’s like you can see
the rituals you can look at anybody’s body in this room if you have them take
their clothes off and you know some of their rituals or lack thereof this is a
true if every day you get up and your ritual is you go to Starbucks and order
a smoking book or whatever those things are that you have right and a big muffin
and whatever it is right and that’s what you do every day it’s not hard to figure
out what you’re gonna be like by 10:30 in the morning you’re gonna be look at
me next coffee next whatever is gonna stimulate your adrenal glands like crazy
and they’re gonna drop predictably and we know what your stress levels gonna be
like we know when you’re in is you’re gonna go and say it’s predictable
because of your rituals if you eat a certain way you can predict that person
is gonna be fat and tired he’s a different way you know if a person eats
and they exercise a certain way you don’t the body’s gonna be like who you
out five days a week never misses it’s just your life let me see your hands
look at look at the number people God’s fantastic howdy everybody hand that’s
really fantastic who here honestly never works out consistently right don’t clap here’s what’s interesting
I’m not saying one is right is one that’s wrong but were those two
different rituals create a different body yes or no if we wanted to really
make it clear we’d say everybody works out five days a week stand up we can
look at them sit down everybody doesn’t work out stand up look at them it’ll be
pretty obvious now some people’s metabolism is different than get by with
different things but you get the picture don’t you your relationships today are
the results of your rituals if the first thing you do every day when you come
home is hi honey and then you go and give a little peck
on the cheek and then you sit down and start typing your emails you flip on the
news it’s not hard to know what your relationships gonna be like you guys
might love each other but it’s gonna be one boring dead relationship it’s like
having a brother or sister but if your new ritual was and you just in the
beginning you made it a ritual just made for fun you say every day when I come
home I’m gonna do those already y’all my husband or wife’s name or sometimes I
want my wife’s a little crazy so I called Lucy I’m home and then we both go
running wherever she is now so wherever the house we go running full-speed like
lovers they haven’t seen each other in six months we do it ask my assistant all
the time not everyday but it’s a ritual do this process right it’s just a crazy
thing thank you thank you I appreciate the mmm I’m telling you to do this I’m
telling us cuz I want you create yours because when you do that and you’re
playful and crazy and you do that a regular basis like you can’t wait to see
each other and the biggest ritual that we have besides physical by the way let
me just say to you this this when you go home if you want to transform your
business transform you by creating first if you don’t already have one a set of
physical rituals that you’re not gonna miss I don’t care what three days a week
four days a week something that’s gonna make you physically strong because in a
place where if there’s gonna be a lot of fear the way you deal with crisis is
number one thing you should do is feed your mind and you’re doing that get
yourself new answer immerse yourself in new environments get
new voices have new perspectives ask some new questions isn’t that what we’ve
been doing here right and we’re doing it together and
bringing all these people together I basically to create innovation in your
life and marketing I’ve assembled here 19 people you assemble five days your
life and we’re just rockin day and night it’s the total immersion of what I
taught you in innovation it’s really what it is but this is got to continue
for it to continue that we’ve also been managing your state to a great extent
all right most of you don’t call home in four or five days they start clapping my
crazy and screaming and shaking you don’t do that you said right and so
something’s gonna go like wow it doesn’t feel the same as such a seminar and
stuff I’m back here by myself my people aren’t doing this but some of you will
go home and initiate this you’re gonna have your physiology five your five
minutes of physiology shift once an hour once every 90 minutes or no more than
once every two hours you’re gonna start your morning with everybody you’re gonna
bring in and get some little audio clip of something from a movie or something
that blasts across you know the room and everybody stand at attention you’re
gonna do some crazy stuff if you’re smart go over examples we’ll see what
they do they got the most crazy stuff going on there
all the stuff that I do in seminars they do every day at their location with
their people and people can’t wait to get the work and they’re in a certain
State

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