♪♪ -Welcome back
to the Trump News Network. Nothing but facts
and some lies. Everyone’s talking about how the
Democrats want to impeach me, and I think it’s very unfair.
I think it’s very unfair. I think it’s very unfair. Very unfair. So, now everyone wants to know
how I feel, but, really, my advisor and favorite
Halloween decoration Kellyanne Conway said it —
She said it best. -He’s amused.
He thinks it’s funny. He’s amused. -She’s right.
I’m amused. [ Laughter ] -I’m amused. That’s how I look
when I’m amused. I’m amused because,
with me out of the office, you’d be left with the world’s
most diabolical little saltine cracker,
Mike Pence. And I thought that hilarious. But he —
Wait a second. Wait a second. I’m getting word
on my very real earpiece that we’ve just received
an exclusive video statement from the whistleblower himself. Let’s roll the clip. -Hi, everyone.
It’s me, the whistleblower. I just wanted to let you all
know that I made a huge mistake when I blew my whistle. Donald Trump
is totally innocent. He didn’t mean to call anyone. If anything,
it was about Don. So if I could go back, I’d just erase
this whole complaint thing, because once again,
I am innocent — he is innocent. He is innocent. -Wow!
There you have it, America. I guess I’m off the hook
after all. Next, in old kooky man news,
Joe Biden was very mean to me in an interview —
in an interview recently. Very mean to me.
He was very mean to me. And he was very nasty.
[ Laughter ] He was very nasty and very mean. He was very mean to me
and very nasty. [ Laughter ] Very mean.
Take a look at this. -You should be looking at Trump. Trump’s doing this because he
knows I’ll beat him like a drum. -Wow.
[ Laughter ] Those are some tough words
coming from a tough man, but let’s see how tough he looks when spaghetti is shooting
out of his eyes. -You should be looking at Trump. Trump’s doing this because he
knows I’ll beat him like a drum. -Oh, yeah.
You got “pasghetti’d.” [ Air horn blares ] And, finally, in tech news, the
new iOS 13 was just released, and there
are a lot of great features. Check out these features
on this phone. [ Cellphone rings ]
It’s kind of unbelievable. Forgot to turn this off.
Stop this bit. [ Ringing continues ]
How do we get out of this bit? Let’s get to the next story,
please, please, please. -Because we are coming to you
live from New York City. I’m Jimmy Fallon, and this is
“The Tonight Show”! Let’s go, baby!
[ Cheers and applause ] ♪♪ -Live,
from 30 Rockefeller Plaza, here in New York City,
it’s “The Tonight Show,” starring Jimmy Fallon! And now here’s your host,
Jimmy Fallon! -♪ Hey, hey hey hey ♪
-♪ Hey, hey hey hey ♪ -♪ Hey, hey hey, hey ♪