Welcome dear viewers, to the show; It’s only the start of 2012, but already, coast to coast we hear reports that humanity has evolved, globally now that we know the cause of all our woes – Joseph Kony. The world’s now on a better path, and the panacea seems to have come from this hero white man here: whose internet video played a vital role in highlighting the plight of Uganda’s child soldiers It went viral and spread with unprecedented speed shared over twitter feeds and endorsed by celebrities. to tell us more, we’re happy to have him on: It’s General Baxter representing Africom General Baxter, good to see you – Right back atcha – Tell us, what does all this signify for Africa – Well, Robert, I can tell you for a start KONY2012 really made me appreciate Art when my son showed me this clip, my heart was stirred I was spurred to action to right the wrong that occurred – Tell us your feelings General, be honest – Since we killed Osama there’s been a hole in my stomach – I’m sorry to hear that…
– I miss him! – Why?
– Because we desperately need a new “dark-skinned Disney villain” [thanks, Sage!] So we can justify defense budgets of trillions in a never ending quest to kill him And this time it’s African soil where we need to get embroiled and quick, before China gets all the oil – So this Kony is a perfect gift then! – He looks like a bad guy AND he hurts children! – KONY2012 was an experiment, was it a success? – Yes! kids are begging the US to bomb Africa next Check this out — let me introduce you to Gavin, my son Gavin, what does Daddy do?
– Kill poor people, with guns – Now, look at what happens when I show Gavin a picture of an African Who’s this?
– That’s a bad guy – That’s right! And what do we do to bad guys? – We use drones and armed forces to kill them and take their resources – See Robert! even a four year old has got it! This makes me so proud…sorry! – The video’s done more than you ever envisaged and in twenty seven minutes, without cats or titties! – We used to have to wait for terrorist attacks to justify interventions and mineral grabs now, thanks to viral videos we can “send advisors” to lynch… I mean arrest … black…I mean Bad Guys – And what will you do once they’ve been caught? – Hand’em over to the International Criminal Court – You mean the same court which the US refuses to submit to for its own war crimes and abuses? is that hypocrisy?
– Robert, honestly! the ICC only prosecutes dark people’s atrocities – Ok, I hear there’s been criticism of the video’s accuracy fallacies, and neo-colonial fantasies – Don’t have such a ‘Heart of Darkness’, Robert join the ‘Missionary Industrial Complex’! save poor Africa from burning accept ‘the white man’s burden’ Plus, 90 million Americans now know that ‘Africa’ exists, that’s good, no? – I suppose so. Alright, General Baxter, thanks for appearing tonight to explain the facts in black and; well, mostly white. Some might disagree with this call to ‘make Kony famous’, but what we’ve witnessed this week is nevertheless momentous: a demonstration of this internet’s potential abilities to instantly inform and engage tens of millions; and a willingness of those millions of people to engage passionately with something more meaningful combined, these are promising signs of the potential energy that lies dormant and primed ready to rise, when the moment arrives what that moment will be, we shall see in time

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  1. This is the one I actually feel sorry about, because I actually fell for it.
    Well I bought nothing, but I did dip my toes in it.

  2. you can't steal from people who have nothing…minerals in the ground aren't resources. they are resources when someone takes them form the ground to produce something more valuable than the mineral.

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